Think of the most successful person
you know. Maybe we’re talking about a work colleague or a mentor. Maybe
this is someone you knew growing up or in school--and you can’t believe
how much he or she has achieved since then. I have no idea what this person looks like or what kind of business he or she is in or whether he or she defines success
by a balance sheet or a full and fulfilling life. But I’ll bet I can
tell you a lot about this person, because I can identify his or her good habits.
There are simply a number of things that almost all really successful
people do every day, and that others simply quit when they get too hard
or inconvenient. Let me know how close I am to the mark here. (Seriously, let me know.) I’ll bet that the highly successful person you’re thinking of is always…
1. …Laughing
There are times to be serious--many times, in fact. But successful
people understand there is humor to be found in nearly any situation. As
H.G. Wells put it, “The crisis of today is the joke of tomorrow.”
2. …Learning
Growing up, my mom used to tell us:
“No education is ever wasted.” Successful people understand this.
That’s why they’re always challenging themselves and learning something
new.
3. …Listening
Nobody learns anything without listening. Successful people recognize
that they’re much better off hearing what others have to say--rather
than telling them what they think they want to hear.
4. …Asking
It’s one thing simply to remain passive and listen. It’s another to
combine listening and learning in a tactic we call “active listening.”
Successful people pay attention, think, and follow-up with questions.
5. …Empathizing
No successful person ever led a team, sold to a customer, or inspired
an audience without being able to put himself or herself into others’
shoes to see the world as they see it. Empathy is a learned skill.
6. …Questioning
Wait, didn’t we already cover “asking” on this list? Good catch! Questioning refers to a different kind of inquisitiveness--revisiting assumptions and asking “why not?”
7. …Giving
Nobody ever accomplishes anything truly great alone. Successful
people understand this--and they know that before you can ask others to
help you, you have to show that you’re willing to help others around
you.
8. …Thanking
Two simple words: “Thank you.” Successful people know that gratitude engenders affection and makes further success more likely.
9. …Failing
There is no failure without trying--but there is also no success without being willing to risk failure.
10. …Adventuring
This can mean traveling or having new life experiences or doing just
about anything to go beyond your comfort zone. Successful people
understand that you only grow when you’re willing to challenge yourself.
11. …Loving
Whether we’re talking about loving your family, your work, your
customers, or life itself, successful people know that a life full of
love is simply better. Here’s a hint, though: You don’t actually have to
like everyone that you love.
12. …Forgiving
Successful people understand that forgiving others is as much a gift to yourself as it is to them.
13. …Remembering
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice--well, shame on the
successful people who know better. Don’t forget, though: There’s a big a
difference between forgiving and forgetting.
14. …Leveling
Life is usually easier when you’re brave enough to be candid.
Successful people know that the lure of dishonesty doesn’t only arise
when they’re tempted to pump themselves up or hide truths. It’s also a
danger when they want to avoid conflict and “go along to get along” with
others.
15. …Risking
Every choice involves risk. Even the decision to do nothing different
is fraught with opportunity cost. Successful people are great
risk-takers, which means they’re risk-managers.
16. …Prioritizing
Successful people are usually successful at more than one thing. You
don’t accomplish multiple objectives without deciding which to do first.
17. …Accomplishing
At the end of the day, we’re judged by what we accomplish. Truly
successful people know that you can’t build a reputation, as someone
once said, on the things you’re planning to do in the future. Author
We're all human. We all procrastinate sometimes. Heck, I'm writing
this column at 11:30 p.m. However, pathetically unsuccessful people take
it to the extreme, living by the mantra "Don't do today what you can
put off until tomorrow (or later)." There's always an excuse, always a
distraction--and somehow things never get done.
2. Blaming.
Blaming others, that is. The sadly unsuccessful among us can always
point the finger at someone else. And after they've spent so much time
and energy blaming others, they still haven't accomplished anything.
3. Minimizing.
Other side of the coin: It's not just that extremely unsuccessful
people blame others for their failures, but they talk down other
people's achievements. Whatever other people accomplish, these are the
folks who are there to talk about how it wasn't actually so great.
4. Consuming.
There's a smart saying: If you want to be successful, spend more time
producing and less time consuming. From scarfing fatty junk foods to
spending hours watching mindless television and trashy pop culture, the
pathetically unsuccessful among us spend a lot of time consuming.
5. Talking.
... and talking and talking and talking. Where successful people
spend time making an effort to actively listen to others, the
ridiculously unsuccessful among us believe they already know it all.
Clearly, they have no need to infuse their knowledge with others'
experience.
6. Assuming.
Closely related to talking too much, wholly unsuccessful people make
assumptions left and right. Often, they're wrong; often they miss
opportunities as a result. (They're just so certain that things will be
doomed, or too difficult to be bothered with.)
7. Naysaying.
It'll never work; that's a crazy idea; the deck is stacked against us. These are the types George Bernard Shaw had in mind when he said, "People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it."
8. Malingering.
They talk big about the things they're going to accomplish. Then,
suddenly, they're "sick." They've got a cold, or a phantom health issue
they have to take care of, or an allergy you've never heard about
before, and they're a last-minute scratch–not able to participate. They
never win gold, silver, or bronze--they're perpetually in the "DNF"
category, for "did not finish." (Clearly, some people have legitimate medical conditions. We're not
talking about those people here; we're talking about the perfectly
healthy folks who always seem to make up "convenient" maladies.)
9. Loafing.
Relaxing is important. We all have times when we need to just kick
back, but the ridiculously unsuccessful among us are the slothful
lurches who seem always to be lying down, letting time pass by, and
accomplishing nothing.
10. Equivocating.
You were counting on them to do something for you? (Oh, you must have
misunderstood.) You were sure they were passionate about following
their dreams? (Meh, you must have been reading into it.) No matter what
these people say, you can be pretty sure they'll be backing off it
later.
11. Safeguarding.
There are legitimate times to cut your losses or be cautious.
However, the chronically unsuccessful among us are so cowed by the fear
of losing what little they have that they never have the courage to try
anything great.
12. Sour graping.
Whatever it is that they couldn't accomplish, well, they later spout
off a reason why they didn't really want it. The project their team
really needed them to accomplish? "It wasn't all that important to begin
with." The love interest they never had the guts to pursue? "He or she
probably wasn't that great anyway."
13. Quitting.
Whatever goal they might have set for themselves, they decide later
that it's too hard, or it's too unlikely to succeed, or it's just not
worth the effort. Suddenly they have other priorities--not that those
other priorities wind up coming to fruition either. It's pathetic. By
definition, truly unsuccessful people can be trusted to do only one
thing consistently: fail. Author